“…and all I got was this lousy spotlight”

You may want to grab yourself a beverage because it’s about to get real serious. Over the years, it has come to my attention that the life of a baseball wife is popularly misunderstood. Namely, it seems that many onlookers have constructed this sort of a baseball wife Barbie doll idea where we’re all the same and all we do is mope on marble floors and shop. While I will neither confirm nor deny these claims, I will let you know it’s a whole lot crazier than narrowing it down to two primary activities. I cannot speak on behalf of every other MLB player’s wife, but I can tell you that through baseball I have met some of the most self-less and caring women. We shall call them “professional spouse supporters”.

In pondering the need for this post this morning, and wondering who it might offend, I asked my Twitter followers what they thought the typical life of an athlete’s wife was like.  Mind you, I completely botched the scientific method as my sample was totally biased but I still wanted to hear it and I still think Bill Nye would approve of my studies. In general, my Twitter followers are pretty smart and, yes, I will take some credit for that (thank you very much). However, I also happen to meet a lot of strangers on airplanes and I happen to hear a lot of other interesting assumptions- the majority of which are not as wise as those I received from my Twitter followers (we can’t all be neon yellow crayons, you know). So I figured, why NOT try and make sense of things by not making any sense at all in this blog post? Sounds pretty reasonable to me!

Now, I regret to inform you that there is no general definition or recipe for a “baseball wife”. Not all of us travel with our husbands, we don’t all look like runway models, some of us have children, and some of us have snakes and bottles of wine to tend to… you see where I’m going here?

With that being said, I will share a few different responses I received via Twitter with you. One baseball fan imagined a sense of “never feeling stable”, but thought it was also pretty cool and noted that she thinks she would like traveling to games.  Another Twitter user described it as a life “defined by sacrifice for your husband in most cases” with diminished privacy and, ultimately, a situation with “many checks and balances”. While most of the responses I received described feelings and emotions, one fan responded that she saw a baseball wife’s life as “hectic (and) busy”, while “sharing your husband with the whole sports world” and “keeping him on track with things”. That last notion is a lot of what we do here in our own unique ways. Although I only received a few responses mentioning the salary of a baseball player, let’s be real; to some people, this seems like the obvious appeal of an athlete to a woman and as I previously mentioned, a ditzy girl who tans and gets pampered all day seems like the obvious type to appeal to a baseball player.

Again, I will neither confirm nor deny these claims, but I can not go on with this post without pointing something out here- athletes are competitive and goal-oriented by nature. Any man with that mind-set is typically bored to death by a woman who has nothing to bring to the table besides her need to be showered in diamonds, expensive handbags and the jealousy of other women. As I can’t speak for all baseball wives, I can’t speak for all baseball players but I hope you get the picture.

Another MLB wife responded to my post with the following descriptions of what a baseball wife’s life consists of and it’s something like a resume: “Professional packer, mover, psychiatrist, home-finder (3x/yr), cook, driver, travel agent, single mom, and new-friend maker”. DING, DING, DING!

Although “stressful and lonely” were the two most popular responses I received, I think the most universally true of all of these statements is the last one. While we’re all different, we seem to all operate with one goal in mind- to be the superwoman of our respective families. Before you read on, please note that I am not here to complain. I am not here to tell you my life is hard just like everyone else’s. I am not here to tell you anything other than the way I see it, and the way I see it is this: Every lifestyle has it’s ups and downs and every lifetime has its peaks and valleys. While it hasn’t always been easy for us, Mat and I do our best to enjoy life and love, maintain some sanity together, appreciate every blessing that’s given to us and deal with the hard times as partners. Like most baseball wives I know, I do everything I can to make sure that he is happy, he feels loved, he doesn’t have any stresses outside of playing the game he is so fortunate to play and that my actions are for the betterment of our family and the communities that we work and live in. (GUYS- I’m actually being serious for once so appreciate it, because you probably wont get much “seriousness” from me).

You will find me making fun of myself. You will likely find me tweeting that I’m overwhelmed. I may publicly admit that I’m still in bed at 2 pm and I may even tell you when I’m waiting on my laundry to do itself but don’t read too far into that… Laughter is the best medicine and laughing at myself is even better. Besides, I am not one to paint a perfect picture and I am not here to tell you that I am a model citizen by any means. I’m not perfect. We are not perfect. I’m not even sure what “perfect” is. What I am sure of is that I have learned that being perfectly imperfect is completely okay when you know where your heart is. Every reader in a committed relationship should put that little gem in their pocket.

Now, I’ll take, “I just laid it all out on the line for $6,000, Alex”.

Dallas

p.s. To those of you who think this is “the good life”, it is a great life but not for the reasons most imagine. What makes a life “the good life” depends on one’s own value system. I say that if you have love for yourself and others along with clean water in your life, you’re doing pretty darn good.

8 Comments

Bravo again Dallas nailing it to a T! This is my favorite statement we hear often “oh must be nice..” although we have only been in the minors and have the financial stress it is the same for all of us being our husbands #1 fan, being there for him when he does great and when he does terrible, never giving up On him. Most of us have more than one job to pay bills, and lots of lonely nights at home. I hope people will read your blog and realize many perks to this and blessed everyday for opportunity but comes with many struggles and battles!

It sounds a lot like being a poker players wife.

Life in baseball is hard. Sounds like u & Mat r trying to stay a positive during all chgs.

I really wanted to touch on you amazing women in the MiLB AND get more into how amazed I am at the strength of baseball moms but I think that will have to be another post entirely. Thank you so much for reading!

LOVE this post!! Great, great job girl!! XOXO

Love the insight and perspective. Very well written.

LOVED and enjoyed this post! As a pilots wife I “think” I get where you are coming from, maybe just a little bit. In the Navy we moved every 2.5 to 3 years and he was literally GONE for 6 months of each year …plus all the extra flying time the job required. Now as a wife of a “cargo” pilot …(the colorful one, not the brown one!) it’s much the same, only blessedly without the moving! You find your balance in your family (if you’re lucky enough to have some in the area), your kids, your friends, other pilot wives and your faith, but mostly in your ability to find humor in the every day! People used to ask me, “how can you stand him being gone all the time?” If it’s what you’ve always known, it’s just how your life is. WE make it work. I’m sure it’s the same for the two of you. Good luck this year and welcome to Cincinnati! We (all 5 of us!) are very much looking forward to watching your husband play the game!!!:)

I think you have observed some very interesting details , regards for the post.

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